Conquering Fear: An Independent Woman’s Story
By Angie Oliveira
I’d like to think that I’m an independent person, somebody who will try to do things once before asking others for help. I guess this is the stubbornness in me, but I firmly believe that you have to learn to take care of yourself before you let others take care of you.
I’m always dispensing this advice to my friends, my married sisters and especially my mom, who I think relies heavily on my dad. My relationship with my boyfriend is no exception. I bought a house before so I could live on my own, and the boy moved to England to pursue his dream to teach aboard.
Since then I’ve learned to kill ugly bugs and sleep in an old creaky house. I rarely play the damsel in distress act because I hate to appear weak, but there are certain things that I just can’t deal with, specifically mice.
Mice issues are inevitable especially when you live in an older neighbourhood in Toronto and are doing some kind of renovation. The problem first reared its ugly head when I started to gut the basement.
At that time the tenant upstairs had a huge amount of mice in her apartment and the current noise electronic rodent repellent devices weren’t just cutting it. It really didn’t affect me since I was still living in my parent’s cushy suburban home.
A rodent expert was called and the mice issue appeared to have dissipated by the time I moved in. The boy was living with me for 3 months and not a mouse in sight; that was of course until he moved abroad.
Once I found 2 mice stuck on glue traps in the basement. I called my dad in a panic who instructed that I had to cover them with a bucket just in case they broke free. I had to give myself a pep talk just to muster enough courage to do that. After a couple of “I can’t do this,” in a tone that should only be reserved for six-year olds, I finally screamed and quickly threw the bucket over the traps.
My parents cannot understand why I would be afraid of such a small thing as a mouse. My answer is exactly the same as to why my mother won’t drive on the highway, or why my father won’t stand in a body of water that is more than knee deep. It’s our phobia.
My dad is quick to remind me that mice are tiny creatures who “will never run to you, they will always run away from you”. Yes, I understand they are harmless, but they still creep the hell out of me.
I once again had to face my fear. I woke up to the sound of a mouse that was caught in a black box trap sitting in the corner of my bedroom.
It was 1:30am, I panicked and I had a “why-the-hell-did-my-boyfriend-leave-me?” moment. Yes, this so-called independent person is now wishing her boyfriend was around to help her. What else was a girl to do, so I called my dad. I had two options, cover the trap with a bucket to muffle the sound or move to the next room.
Realizing the noise wasn’t going to end, I did what any normal independent girl would do in my situation. I got up, moved to the next room and went to bed with my fingers in my ears.
I can deal with a mice problem, but it doesn’t mean I have to face it head on.
When does my boyfriend come back?
Women’s Empowerment Begins With Positive Role Models
Everyday I get numerous emails with motivational articles and quotes. They help me stay focused on the positive and give me a little inspirational kick in the pants. Today I read one from DailyOM that I want to share with you. Here it is:
Women’s Support
Becoming Our Own Role Models
There was a time where women stood together in a bond of sisterhood, women supporting women.
As women embrace the fullness of who they are as individuals, they may find themselves supporting other women, helping others to reach the level of inner comfort and outer freedom that they themselves have found. Among those who are less sure of themselves and their place in the world, it may be more common to criticize other women than to seek their help. But there are things that a woman can only learn from another woman, as there are things about being a man that can only be learned from other men. We all recognize that we have much to learn from each other regardless of gender, but sometimes we could use a supportive role model that gives us a more precise example of what and who we can become.
There was a time where women stood together in a bond of sisterhood, women supporting women. It is only natural that the pendulum swings out of balance for a while so that we may have the experience of what we do not want. It is up to women to bring the pendulum back into balance and bring back the sacred sisterhood we yearn for at our core.
If we envision a world where women support each other and help each other find their place in an ever-changing world, then we can become the change we want to see. Jealousy, envy, criticism, and judgment are refuges for the insecure. As we help others to become self-assured, we create a world in which all people help each other, regardless of gender. Only women can make the change in how women are seen and understood, not just by other women but by the world at large. The way we speak about each other to other women and to the men in our lives informs everyone to treat us with the respect that all women, and all people, deserve.
The message is so true. We all have something to teach. We can all do something today to improve not only our own lives but the lives of others.
If you are interested in getting the DailyOM you can find it HERE.
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